Stories from a Bambusbaer

Once in a while, you would see someone confessing about their feelings towards you. He was freaking nice, spoke to you politely, tried to fulfill any wish that you have, listened to any story you shared with him, you might think that you both fit perfectly for each other. Maybe as a friend. Then one day, you had that certain feeling, and you realized there was something more behind it. The kind of gaze he tried to conceal under his stupid remarks. He said he sees you only as a friend, then started to pay more attention to you. How he gave you unusual touches each time you were together. But you know, it wouldn't happen between you two. You explained in a nonchalant way that you found someone else. You thought he would understand. You thought it was just a shallow feeling for a brief moment you were together. The next thing you know, he confessed his feelings. Then you hurt him intentionally by your rejection. Damage cannot be undone. Though in the beginning, he said he would keep ...

Drizzle out. Wiper on. The sound of the rain drops. I was driving back home. It was cold. Even the least degree of AC still got me shivering. I put my jacket on. Nostalgia songs on repeat. About love. About heart. About missing someone. About longing for their presence.   But if I let you go. I will never know. What my life would be. Holding you close you close to me. About you. Every song reminds me of you. Will I ever see. You smiling back at me. How will I know. If I let you go. This song reminds me of the fear of losing you. Yet, I lose you. I let you go. No more if. No more wondering. I know exactly how it feels to lose you. To feel you disappear little by little in my life. I let you. I deleted your number. I deleted your pictures, our pictures. I deleted everything. Except for those memories. It was still intact. I cannot let it go. I don’t want to let it go. Not yet. The most beautiful yet the saddest memories. Rain is pouring. The sounds of the song get weaker. My thoughts...

If you ever wondered whether I've forgotten about you or not, nope.. I won’t forget. How come? I’ve known you, us, for so many years. Being a friend and lover, we almost had our future figured out together. But almost is never enough, right? The fact is, almost together, means that we are not together. Almost make it, means that we didn’t make it.   Almost achieving it means that we didn't get what we wished for. However, that 'almost' served us with so many lessons.   About how the universe works.   Eventually, if it’s not meant to be, it won't work. No matter how hard we tried. No matter how hard we prayed. No matter how hard we forced it.   So, we took the necessary distance to evaluate Then we started to wonder if the things between us are worth fighting for? It took us a long time to reach a conclusion The ultimate answer I have been looking for since day one, I decided to lend my heart to you.   I collected and took it back - my heart. It was never yours ...

McDonald's parking lot Past midnight We talked for hours So many topics Mostly about you, about me We talked about us What happened between us How we used to be together How all of a sudden, everything fell apart I miss you, I said I know you miss me too You reached my finger Put them between yours We finally made up Your ice cream cone was finished Mine was melted in the cup I savor it little by little while talking with you I love it when you wear your glasses, you said I smiled I love seeing your big brown eyes, I said quietly Illuminated by the street light We gaze into each other's eyes Understanding the depth of what we felt at this moment You said you wanted to kiss me I gave you a peck on your cheek You smile I found your dimple was so cute So I want to kiss you, too I pulled your collar to get you closer Your lips met mine Tasted like a gummy bear Vanilla, like the ice cream you just finished Smell a little bit of tobacco, like our cigarettes It was sweet, it was tende...

  It was a hurricane in my mind. A very big storm. Dark clouds. Destroying everything cannot be controlled. I felt like a shipwreck in the ocean. No crew. Floating around. No direction, following wherever the stream goes. Without any purpose. Without any destination. Waiting for the holes to be filled. Maybe it will sink eventually.  Whatever. I don’t even care anymore.  Strangely, It was only when you held my hand that, all of a sudden, the storm was quiet. It stopped spinning around and showing tantrums. It wasn’t clear. But it was something.  It wasn’t completely bright, but I could see a glimpse of sunshine peeking through the cloudy sky.  “I like you.” You said.  I didn’t answer. We both stayed in the car for the longest I could remember.  You stroked your thumb over mine. It was dark.  We stayed still as the cars on the street passed by.   I couldn’t look you in the eye for long.  It was calm, almost too quiet, that I started to qu...