Posts

Love Fool

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Aku masih ingat, sewaktu SMA, adalah pertama kalinya aku mendengar ada sebuah grup musik bernama “The Cardigans” dengan lagunya yang berjudul “Lovefools”. Pada masa itu, aku yang pure-blood berasal dari kabupaten, akhirnya masuk sekolah unggulan di daerah kota. Telingaku yang biasanya dihibur dengan alunan lagu babang tamvan seperti “Yolanda” dan “Tentang aku, kau dan dia” kini harus terbiasa mendengarkan lagu-lagu berbahasa Inggris agar bisa mengikuti tren pergaulan anak-anak kota. Jujur, pada saat itu bahasa Inggrisku hanya bagus pada bagian membaca teks, bukan menulis, apalagi mendengarkan. Ok, anyway … lagu The Cardigans “Lovefools” itu terdengar sangat playful dan menyenangkan. Mendengarkannya melalui earphone yang disambungkan ke handphone Nokia Supernova 7610 slide sambil menikmati perjalananku naik kereta patas. “Love me love, say that you love me Fool me fool me, go on and fool me love me love me, pretend that you love me leave me leave me, just say that you need me” Lagu yan...
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If The World is Ending

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  The sound of my tiny brush cleaning my teeth became the background sound of my empty mind. It wasn’t actually empty, I just watched some news on YouTube. One country attacked another country, leaving a toll of hundreds of deaths. Lots of people migrate to safer zones.   “Crazy..” You came and muttered beside me after you listened to a leader's speech, saying that they wanted to go to a full scale of war.   I passed your brush and paste, you took it, then started to clean your own teeth. We stared at each other through the mirror, and I could see your eyes smiling. We looked at each other for as long as two minutes.   I leaned down and rinsed my mouth, you cannot help but slap my butt cheek. “Bitch!” I squint my eyes, pretending not to like it. You smirk, white foam all over your mouth.   “Do you think the war will affect us soon?” I asked while you gargled and finished your rituals. You shrugged. I squeezed your butt cheek as revenge when you leaned. You grinn...
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Roti Abon

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     Aku dan makanan adalah dua hal yang sangat berkaitan erat. Sepanjang ingatanku, hal-hal yang berkaitan dengan memori indah hampir semuanya berkaitan dengan makanan. Entah itu makan masakan mama yang dulu setiap hari selalu dihidangkan di meja makan, disuapi papa subuh-subuh sambil siap-siap sekolah, atau jajan makanan yang bervariasi di kantin sekolah. Teman sekolahku dulu, pasti tau banget seberapa banyak jajanan aku setiap istirahat. Seringkali, aku beli dua porsi makanan yang aku suka. Satu untuk dimakan sendiri satu lagi persiapan kalau ada yang minta, kalo gak ada yang mau, aku habisin juga sendiri. Hehe.      Dari kecil, aku gak pernah pilih-pilih makanan. Kecuali sayur, yang baru beberapa tahun belakangan ini aku suka. Dari makanan rumahan, tenda pinggiran yang dimasak pake minyak bumi mentah, cafe, resto, atau tempat makan manapun, kalau ada yang ngajak aku makan jawabannya cuma satu: “GASKEUN”.       Buatku, makanan lebih d...
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A boy who gave up

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Once in a while, you would see someone confessing about their feelings towards you. He was freaking nice, spoke to you politely, tried to fulfill any wish that you have, listened to any story you shared with him, you might think that you both fit perfectly for each other. Maybe as a friend. Then one day, you had that certain feeling, and you realized there was something more behind it. The kind of gaze he tried to conceal under his stupid remarks. He said he sees you only as a friend, then started to pay more attention to you. How he gave you unusual touches each time you were together. But you know, it wouldn't happen between you two. You explained in a nonchalant way that you found someone else. You thought he would understand. You thought it was just a shallow feeling for a brief moment you were together. The next thing you know, he confessed his feelings. Then you hurt him intentionally by your rejection. Damage cannot be undone. Though in the beginning, he said he would keep ...
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On the way back home

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Drizzle out. Wiper on. The sound of the rain drops. I was driving back home. It was cold. Even the least degree of AC still got me shivering. I put my jacket on. Nostalgia songs on repeat. About love. About heart. About missing someone. About longing for their presence.   But if I let you go. I will never know. What my life would be. Holding you close you close to me. About you. Every song reminds me of you. Will I ever see. You smiling back at me. How will I know. If I let you go. This song reminds me of the fear of losing you. Yet, I lose you. I let you go. No more if. No more wondering. I know exactly how it feels to lose you. To feel you disappear little by little in my life. I let you. I deleted your number. I deleted your pictures, our pictures. I deleted everything. Except for those memories. It was still intact. I cannot let it go. I don’t want to let it go. Not yet. The most beautiful yet the saddest memories. Rain is pouring. The sounds of the song get weaker. My thoughts...
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