Stories from a Bambusbaer

     Aku dan makanan adalah dua hal yang sangat berkaitan erat. Sepanjang ingatanku, hal-hal yang berkaitan dengan memori indah hampir semuanya berkaitan dengan makanan. Entah itu makan masakan mama yang dulu setiap hari selalu dihidangkan di meja makan, disuapi papa subuh-subuh sambil siap-siap sekolah, atau jajan makanan yang bervariasi di kantin sekolah. Teman sekolahku dulu, pasti tau banget seberapa banyak jajanan aku setiap istirahat. Seringkali, aku beli dua porsi makanan yang aku suka. Satu untuk dimakan sendiri satu lagi persiapan kalau ada yang minta, kalo gak ada yang mau, aku habisin juga sendiri. Hehe.      Dari kecil, aku gak pernah pilih-pilih makanan. Kecuali sayur, yang baru beberapa tahun belakangan ini aku suka. Dari makanan rumahan, tenda pinggiran yang dimasak pake minyak bumi mentah, cafe, resto, atau tempat makan manapun, kalau ada yang ngajak aku makan jawabannya cuma satu: “GASKEUN”.       Buatku, makanan lebih d...

Once in a while, you would see someone confessing about their feelings towards you. He was freaking nice, spoke to you politely, tried to fulfill any wish that you have, listened to any story you shared with him, you might think that you both fit perfectly for each other. Maybe as a friend. Then one day, you had that certain feeling, and you realized there was something more behind it. The kind of gaze he tried to conceal under his stupid remarks. He said he sees you only as a friend, then started to pay more attention to you. How he gave you unusual touches each time you were together. But you know, it wouldn't happen between you two. You explained in a nonchalant way that you found someone else. You thought he would understand. You thought it was just a shallow feeling for a brief moment you were together. The next thing you know, he confessed his feelings. Then you hurt him intentionally by your rejection. Damage cannot be undone. Though in the beginning, he said he would keep ...

Drizzle out. Wiper on. The sound of the rain drops. I was driving back home. It was cold. Even the least degree of AC still got me shivering. I put my jacket on. Nostalgia songs on repeat. About love. About heart. About missing someone. About longing for their presence.   But if I let you go. I will never know. What my life would be. Holding you close you close to me. About you. Every song reminds me of you. Will I ever see. You smiling back at me. How will I know. If I let you go. This song reminds me of the fear of losing you. Yet, I lose you. I let you go. No more if. No more wondering. I know exactly how it feels to lose you. To feel you disappear little by little in my life. I let you. I deleted your number. I deleted your pictures, our pictures. I deleted everything. Except for those memories. It was still intact. I cannot let it go. I don’t want to let it go. Not yet. The most beautiful yet the saddest memories. Rain is pouring. The sounds of the song get weaker. My thoughts...

If you ever wondered whether I've forgotten about you or not, nope.. I won’t forget. How come? I’ve known you, us, for so many years. Being a friend and lover, we almost had our future figured out together. But almost is never enough, right? The fact is, almost together, means that we are not together. Almost make it, means that we didn’t make it.   Almost achieving it means that we didn't get what we wished for. However, that 'almost' served us with so many lessons.   About how the universe works.   Eventually, if it’s not meant to be, it won't work. No matter how hard we tried. No matter how hard we prayed. No matter how hard we forced it.   So, we took the necessary distance to evaluate Then we started to wonder if the things between us are worth fighting for? It took us a long time to reach a conclusion The ultimate answer I have been looking for since day one, I decided to lend my heart to you.   I collected and took it back - my heart. It was never yours ...