His Point of View

The way she lit the cigarette, inhaled it and then blew the smoke caught my eyes completely. I know she is hot, but this one is way too much and feels burning in my face. Maybe it’s just the side effect of alcohol, but I just like how I feel towards her.

She has caught my interest since our first meeting. My first impression about her was too talkative and her energy was too much to handle. I still remember her oversized fur jacket with some bunny ears on its hoodie. I remember she was there talking with someone that I was supposed to have a meeting with. She was so loud, laughing too hard, almost too happy.

We shook hands. She asked my name, I told her, and then ten minutes later she forgot. She asked me again while grinning like a child. I don't like someone who forgets names so easily, it means that they don't have respect or even interest in the other person. But the way she asked, made me consider that she was just the kind of forgetful person. 

Well, I didn't put so much thought into that. I was not very interested in other people's issues because I was fighting with my girlfriend and it ruined my mood. At that time, I didn't even want to come if not because someone else dragged me there. Shall I say, thank god that I made it? Because afterward, I got the chance to know her. 

With her, something felt fit. I wasn’t used to her presence, smile, or energy, but over time I could find myself looking for her when she was not around. Or talking without realizing it was already passed midnight. I found myself telling her everything I didn’t tell anyone else. My feeling. My secret. My life. Telling her even the cringest jokes I could remember, then she would laugh as if it was the funniest thing she ever heard. 

I didn't know why, but the way she looked at me, the way she talked to me, the way she smiled at me while I was talking made me feel so special. She never pretended, she showed, she looked me in the eye bravely, showing her interest, and asked me questions. I was not used to this kind of thing, but I liked it. 

“Can I ask you a question? A very personal question?” Suddenly she looked at me and caught me off guard. 

“Ng.. Yeah?” I stuttered a little. There again, that kind of look. 

“Do you have a girlfriend right now? Or did you guys break up?”

“We broke up.”

“When?”

“About two or three months ago.”

“Already That long? Really? Why?”

“Shit happened.” I shrugged. I honestly had no idea why would I break up with my last girlfriend who had been with me for the past two years. We never had any big problems, we met regularly once every week and texted each other every day. Probably, we just simply growing apart while we are living our own lives. I like her, I love her, but not to the point I want to give up everything to be with her. I felt sad, but that was it. No drama, no longing or hard feelings. Nothing. 

“Are you okay?” She saw me with concerned eyes. Damn, but why my eyes kept looking on her lips. Those look very delicate and tempting.

“I am now.” I said weakly. No, I definitely am not okay, and trying so hard not to do anything that potentially could ruin my friendship with her. If there’s even one.

“And you? How are you feeling right now?” I change the subject becoming her.

“Me? Same shit different day.” She shrugged. Inhale the last smoke from her cigarette.

“Can I ask you something personal too?”

“Yeah, what is it?” She put the cigarette butt on the ashtray and then came back to my side. She put her elbow on the fence and laid her chin on her palm. Her eyes looking at me. The yellow street light reflected on her eyes, made her pupils look wider.

“Why did you ask me whether I still have a girlfriend or not?”

“Because it is important.” A slight smile rose on the corner of her lips.

“Why?”

“Because I am about to flirt with you. I just want to be sure not to do it with someone else’s man.” My heart thumped loudly as she said it. 

“Do you like me?” 

“I haven’t found that answer yet.”

“Then why would you want to flirt with me?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like it.”

“Is it even a hard question?” I don’t know why, but she and I started to use lower pitch. She almost whispering to me and I could feel a shiver through my body, damn so sexy.

“Nope, I just don’t want to find the answer too quickly.”

“You are so beautiful, you know that right?” I said, hesitantly putting some of her hair behind the ear. She stood still.

“I know, thanks.”

“I like everything about you.” I wonder why I confessed my feelings to her right now. 

“Me too..”

“Yeah?”

“I like everything about me, too.” So, she was teasing me. With that smile, I won’t complain.

“Do you like me?” I grabbed her shoulder softly. 

“Haven’t found the answer yet. Ask me again later.” She touched my arms with her finger. Stroke my vein with her thumb. I felt it in my whole body.

“How much later?” 

“Not so much, maybe after you wake up in the morning.” She tilted her head with a little mischievous smile. 

“Ah, that’s too long. I need the answer now.” I said, impatiently.

“Why are you in a rush?” 

“Because I want to do something to you, only if I know that you like me too.” I felt the adrenaline when I said it.

“What is it?”

“Kissing you.” Fuck it. Let her know my feelings. Let our friendship be ruined.

"Oh.." She looked a bit surprised.

"Can I?"

“….” She didn’t say anything back. The air, the tension, the quietness, as if the whole world is on pending while we are looking at each other like this. She has been looking at my eyes and lips, and so do I. She curled her thick lips while pretending to think. Shit.

“Do you only kiss someone who likes you?” She said, her eyes looking at me teasingly. 

“Not necessarily.”

“Will you still kiss me, even though I don’t say I like you?”

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

She smiled. For a moment, we just looked at each other. Her pupils widened. From a close range like this, I could see her straight nose, her full lips, and some strands of hair on her forehead. Then the next thing I knew her lips were already on mine.

I didn’t know who started this. All I could feel was her arms on my neck pulling me closer and my palm on her cheeks. I want to eat her. I want to feel her. I want to be with her. I want to feel whole with her.

I want her.